And then what?

Last Saturday (Dec 12th), I was invited to sort clothes and toiletries for a large giveaway / dinner event coming up for homeless and people in need. I was told they were expecting to serve about 2,000 people this year. Later, as I was driving I heard on the radio people sharing their stories about giving and doing things for others, presents and baskets of food offered by groups and organizations all to help the homeless and the less fortunate during the holiday season. Even my family along with some friends prepared and served dinner to a group of neighbors living in dreary conditions. As I meditated this morning, I thought this time is really what many of us believe and sing: the most beautiful time of the year. But then as I took in for a few moments how beautiful is to see the spirit of giving, the willingness to share, the readiness of reaching out to others, I asked, where does it all go after all the hustle and bustle of the season fades away? Does that "spirit", attitude vanishes away? Do the poor disappear after we feed them? Are there no immediate needs to help with? Who are these people we feed and give clothes and presents to? They are people struggling to make ends meet due to low / minimum wages; they are single mothers trying to make it each day; people who can't call the place they slept home because it changes every night, people who have lost their jobs, people who stand in a corner waiting to be seen. I was just thinking, we help now and then what? I know that organizations like the one I volunteered at work all year around and many others do too. I'm thinking of people like me. After we fed our "less fortunate neighbors" and gave them some toiletries, then what? Do I still see the man standing at the corner hoping to get a job offer? Do I care whether or not he has something to eat tonight? There seems to be some courage that comes with the holiday spirit daring us to ask, to invite, to give without feeling we are intruding or be rejected with a no. Or what about those we helped, are they wondering "where are they now"?

An Apron for my Mother

Many of my friends and relatives are aware that I sew aprons to sell as part of my sewing business. It all started when we needed funds to help women coming out of prison and I made a few and sold them all within a few days thanks to the response of friends and people from church. Many say that my aprons are too pretty to wear. Others have said they look like beautiful dresses. Nice, welcome compliments in something I find great satisfaction in making as I can be as creative as I want to with no strings. I just think as them as a quick way to make one "decent" when there is an unexpected knock at the door. Just put the apron in top of your worn out sweats, add a smile and you are ready to greet the "intruder". (This goes for men too as I do aprons for men and women.) Before selling them though, I made the first aprons for Christmas presents for all my sisters and a couple of close friends. However, I did not make one for my mother. Instead, I sent her what had become her special request to me for years, money for a "very good quality girdle" as she put it years ago when on a seldom occasion we went shopping together. However, I always sent a package with a little something as I knew she -- like most of us -- loved to unwrap a package in expectation of what was inside. So, no apron for now. I didn't have one of my sisters' address, so I sent it to mom's. As she was telling me my sister's reaction (she gave it to mom as she said she doesn't cook), I thought I wasn't going to tell her I did not send her one as I wanted hers to be special and have it ready for Mother's Day. I had ordered a vintage pattern online and was still looking for a "happy" fabric for mom. A whole year passed and I finally found it and started working on it.

I wasn't as fast as usual when sewing this one as the instructions were not as detailed as other patterns plus . . . I got involved in other projects; I thought I had time. A couple of times, my mother mentioned she still had the apron whenever we talked about her projects and was trying to copy it as she liked the style. She was a good seamstress. But I wondered if she expected me to offer to sew the apron; however I had set my mind on my special project for her and resisted telling her about it. It was a surprise. Well, I finally finished the apron two years later but my mother did not get to see it. She was gone by the next Mother's Day I had planned to send it. Last week, was the two year anniversary of her demise. As a child of the One True God, I don't live with guilt or regrets. I've learned not to dwell in things I've no control over. So don't think I'm writing this because of unresolved issues, I'm writing this to share my lesson -- though a bit late for me -- you don't have to wait or look for something special for your mom. If is from you, it is already special to her. I look forward to the day I will see my mom's smile again and stop missing her voice and see her not with an apron but magnificent, white clothes put on her by God Himself.